Manage Your Inner Critic
This self-coaching tool can help you quieten that voice inside your head that limits your self-belief and, therefore, your full potential.
Here is a three-step guide on how to approach your responsibilities from a place of deep curiosity, rather than fearful apprehension.
Step 1. Identify and journal about your inner critic
Your inner critic is that self-limiting voice in your head that tells you that is looking for the threat in every situation, telling you that you should be cautious, that you will probably fail, that others probably think you shouldn't have the role you have.
Over a working week, make notes on how your inner critic is trying to hold you back:
- What are you doing (or attempting to do) when you hear that voice?
- How do you respond when you hear the judgements that come from this voice?
- How does it slow you down? How does it restrict you?
- What is your body doing? Is your breathing quicker or are your shoulders sagging?
- How is this making you feel?
Step 2. Identify patterns and themes
At the end of the week, take a step back from your journaling and look for any patterns that have emerged. Use these to identify the voice of your inner critic and how it shows up in particularly challenging situations:
- Is that voice a parent or someone in authority? Or your inner child that is scared about what's happening?
- What do you think its motivation is? Do you think it is trying to keep you safe? What is the potential threat or shame / embarrassment your inner critic is trying to keep you away from?
- What does it look like? Try drawing it! (your inner critic will, of course, tell you that you can't draw...).
- What does it say to you? What negative phrases does it use? What does it sound like?
- Give it a funny name so you can easily refer to it.
All of this will help you more easily step away from it, when it appears.
Now you've identified your inner critic, go to Step 3 below to take back control.
Go Deeper
Go Slow to Go Fast friend and thought leader Iñaki Escudero has published a book on how to 'become the change you aspire to be'. Give yourself the opportunity to be guided by him through 'the tools to wrestle with your fears, transform limiting beliefs, and step into your rebel power'.
Find out more
Step 3. Managing Your Inner Critic
Identifying that self-limiting voice in your head gives you back control over how you want to approach your new responsibilities and all the difficult situations and conversations that are involved.
Steps 1, 2 and 3 above give you the insight you need to identify your inner critic and when it appears and starts to erode your self-confidence.
Here are three techniques to step away from the limits that voice is imposing on you, so you can take back control:
- Acknowledge the voice, recognise it for what it is trying to do and ask it to go away from an hour or two, so you can focus on the challenge you are trying to solve.
- Acknowledge the voice and say, out loud (as long as no-one is nearby!), "thank you for your advice but I don't need you right now. I've got this situation covered and I know what I need to do".
- Acknowledge the voice and immediately change your posture. If you are sitting then stand up and stretch your arms out wide. Make yourself big and take a deep breath in. Your inner critic can't exist when you are moving so confidently.
By acknowledging your inner critic you are recognising that it is still part of you and that it wants to keep you safe and away from possible threats (real or perceived). By asking it to move away or stop talking for a while, you are intentionally stepping away from the limits it is trying to force on you, so you can get on with the work you need to do.
Use one of these techniques (or all three!) every time your inner critic appears and you will quickly build a habit of self-belief and positive thinking in the most challenging situations.