It's not good enough
Jan 26, 2024
“I feel whatever I do isn’t good enough”. This was from an experienced manager in one of my training workshops recently.
Other managers, newly promoted and seasoned leaders together, started to open up about ‘that thing’ they think about constantly, but never feel able to share at work, or even at home:
- “I’m always asked for clarity from my team but I’m just the messenger and I feel helpless”
- “I’m finding it really hard to move from friend to manager”
- “I’m a people-pleaser and I hate the conflict involved in being a manager”
- “I’m always having to stop what I’m doing to help my team members... I’m not sure management is something I actually want to do but I can’t see any other way to get promoted”.
This is just a snapshot of all the issues. There were common themes as you can imagine!
I’m sharing here because I’m sure some of these issues resonate with you – I know all of them have kept me awake at night at some point over the years. But I never felt able to talk about it because showing vulnerability, especially at work, is really hard to do. In fact, what is the benefit of sharing this sort of information, when often very little can be done about it?
That’s until I joined the good people of Hyper Island and I experienced my first ‘Stinky Fish’ session, facilitated by Hazel (my now partner in building Go Slow To Go Fast)*.
According to the brilliant Amy Edmondson, Novartis Professor of Leadership and Management at Harvard Business School: “I think one of the most powerful things that leaders at any level can say is, I need your help. Because it is humble, it is vulnerable, it is honest and it is an invitation for others in the team to share.” Her and her team’s research shows that this bold step – if done with care and respect – will build psychological safety and trust, core components in all high performing teams**.
Management can be lonely and having the opportunity to open up – and hear from others who are probably experiencing very similar issues – is incredibly cathartic.
That’s why we started weekly group coaching sessions, because we know that people are more likely to open up (and benefit from opening up) if they have no formal connection with the others in the group.
This phenomenon is explored in more detail in the HBR article ‘The Surprising Power of Peer Coaching’***: “By bringing people together who have no formal accountability to or interactions with each other, you can create deep learnings that wouldn’t be available otherwise.”
If you want this opportunity to share, with like-minded people and with our support, join up and use the code CIRCLE to get lifetime access for free: https://www.goslowtogofast.co.uk/coaching-circles
In the meantime, happy team building (and thanks for reading 😊).
*Find out how to run a Stinky Fish session with your team, here: https://toolbox.hyperisland.com/stinky-fish-13d9ce8d-e64f-4085-8a06-8d212c627788
**GREAT Amy Edmondson talk about psychological safety: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhoLuui9gX8
***That HBR article: https://hbr.org/2021/04/the-surprising-power-of-peer-coaching
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