The final straw
Sep 27, 2023
Last night I was at our local climbing wall (we spend a lot of time there because my son is in their junior squad) and I got chatting to one of the other dads. We often both climb together but I hadn’t seen him for a while.
I asked him how he was, and he just said “I’ve been really stressed with work”.
He’s not a talkative person, but I got the feeling he was struggling and – because of the kind of work I do – I thought I’d just ask a few more questions… and then it all came out.
He started by sharing that the evening before, he’d got an email from someone more senior who’d asked him and his team to produce a report. He’d replied that it was short notice but he’d see what he could do over the next few days. He’d had issues with this manager before and didn’t want to antagonise him, but he also wanted to reduce the potential stress for his team by allowing them some time to produce that report.
Then he got a follow up email in the morning saying ‘I need that report asap, just get it done’.
He told me this triggered a physical response. The knot in his stomach that had been there for months suddenly tightened even more and he found it difficult to breath. He felt hot and couldn’t think straight. He knew this wasn’t good and that getting this email was the final straw. He had to start looking for another job.
This email came after six months of uncertainty building from a company merger, a restructure and several rounds of redundancies and his relentless attempts to protect and care for his team throughout this period.
We talked for almost an hour, about what he could do in the short-term to alleviate the immense stress he was under, (why it was happening – SCARF Model – and what he could try to do about it for himself – Control/Influence Model and in the moment feedback – AIR Model, see links to these models below).
He said he most appreciated the chance to talk to someone that was objective, that isn’t family or related to work. It was also nice to laugh about the guy that sent that email, because yes, we could both agree, that guy was a complete d*ck.
SCARF Model: https://lnkd.in/eNVjDuKv
Covey's Control/Influence Model: https://lnkd.in/eT4mQdST
AIR Model for feedback: https://lnkd.in/eV5eKNxZ
I asked him how he was, and he just said “I’ve been really stressed with work”.
He’s not a talkative person, but I got the feeling he was struggling and – because of the kind of work I do – I thought I’d just ask a few more questions… and then it all came out.
He started by sharing that the evening before, he’d got an email from someone more senior who’d asked him and his team to produce a report. He’d replied that it was short notice but he’d see what he could do over the next few days. He’d had issues with this manager before and didn’t want to antagonise him, but he also wanted to reduce the potential stress for his team by allowing them some time to produce that report.
Then he got a follow up email in the morning saying ‘I need that report asap, just get it done’.
He told me this triggered a physical response. The knot in his stomach that had been there for months suddenly tightened even more and he found it difficult to breath. He felt hot and couldn’t think straight. He knew this wasn’t good and that getting this email was the final straw. He had to start looking for another job.
This email came after six months of uncertainty building from a company merger, a restructure and several rounds of redundancies and his relentless attempts to protect and care for his team throughout this period.
We talked for almost an hour, about what he could do in the short-term to alleviate the immense stress he was under, (why it was happening – SCARF Model – and what he could try to do about it for himself – Control/Influence Model and in the moment feedback – AIR Model, see links to these models below).
He said he most appreciated the chance to talk to someone that was objective, that isn’t family or related to work. It was also nice to laugh about the guy that sent that email, because yes, we could both agree, that guy was a complete d*ck.
SCARF Model: https://lnkd.in/eNVjDuKv
Covey's Control/Influence Model: https://lnkd.in/eT4mQdST
AIR Model for feedback: https://lnkd.in/eV5eKNxZ
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